NEW YEARS RESOLUTION and SELF HELP

well well well,

I went into Barnes and Noble today and I realized that this is the time of year everyone takes the bull by the horns for upwards of 3-5 weeks. That's right. It's self help time! And how did I know this you ask me? Well it was made perfectly clear to me by the strategically placed SELF HELP BOOK TABLE about 4 inches from the entrance. Peppered with about 30 different books on how to do everything from how to make 56 billion dollars without leaving your couch to how to wipe your ass with more confidence all the way to why you aren't fat and a horrible person after all ( you aren't, I like you ). Just like music, I find there are too many people out there offering YOU, their help or vision. THANKS guy in weird shirt , cowboy boots and sun glasses for telling me about how my success is MY FAULT! hahahah.....prick.

Here is one rule about self help books.......

THEY ALL HAVE BLURBS ABOUT THEM ON THE BACK BY OTHER SELF HELP AUTHORS......or a note from Orpah...... it's like they all keep each other in business by giving each other love., it would be like ME REVIEWING MOBY's NEW ALBUM or worse HIM REVIEWING MINE ( sighs, and awaits horrible review! ).....or

DONALD TRUMP is somehow involved

who the fuck is donald trump to think that he has ONE fucking thing to offer me? Anything at all for that matter?! one of the truly worst human beings on earth and im including famed Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceauşescu and Pol Pot in the mix. ( how could I leave out my man Hitler? )

Know one thing. I know Donald Trumps bankruptcy lawyer ( no, not the bankruptcy of his soul.....thats a lost cause and not the bankruptcy of his terminally terrible hair either ) The man eats children for breakfast!

I think its hysterical that at this point there are people out there who have failed so badly in life that in fact they are allowed to write self help books. Im amazed at this point there isnt a CHICAGO CUBS "its ok, pick yourself up by the boot straps and try again" self help book.

that'll be the day!

So, if you are getting back in shape , or finally telling yourself you are a good person or eating better or whatever...........JUST FUCKING ENJOY YOURSELF AND GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. somewhere in the sudan someone has A REAL PROBLEM.....and it has nothing to do with your inability not to eat an entire bag og GOLDENBERGS PEANUT CHEWS in one sitting!

be well,

MOWO!™