My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I can't say I know what it's like to lose my father, because I never met him. But I was very close to my Grandfather, and when he passed and nobody told me, I was hurt to the core. There's a part of me that will never be able to forgive my "family" (and I use that term loosely now) for not even taking the time to tell me about his passing simply because I live in a different state. My Grandfather was the greatest man that ever touched my life. I owe everything to him and my Grandma. I miss him dearly, as I know you miss your dad. Just keep in mind that someday we'll all be together again. Keep your head up. He knows you love him.